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Kann nich schlafen. Weiss nicht was ich machen soll. Warum mag ich ihn so sehr, und gleichzeitig gar nicht? Ich kann es nicht ertragen ihm weh zu tun. Mein suesser, wunderschoener Freund. Ich hab ihn so gern..

Aber manchmal zieht er wirklich meinen Zorn auf sich.

Entaeuschend. It's time for sleep. I can't sleep. I can't sleep. I can't sleep. I want to be gone. Dead. Somewhere else.

Feel like a Tarot reading. Like a ritual maybe. Incense sticks, candles and blood.

I want to be..... somewhere far away. Never to return. I want to take something away so that its value will finally be appreciated. And I'm glad T was there today- but it kind of hurts to feel that I can't talk to my 'good friend'. Right now there are so many topics I could think of- so many things on my mind (and maybe on his??) But my policy of "don't tell unless you're asked" is getting in the way and I am really not wanting to overthrow another one of my policies for (sein) sake?

Ich vermisse meine Muesli. I miss you.

I miss you.

Right now. I want you back. I am still... hoping.

I miss you.
16.11.09 16:51


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